Kung Fu & Relationships: Dating Lessons From Bruce Lee

In his book The Tao of Jeet Kune Do, Bruce Lee speaks of six "diseases" that hinder progress and make success elusive. Turns out, these issues are relevant to dating, as they parallel what men go through when trying to attract a woman.

DISEASE #1) "The desire for victory."

In martial arts, this is a disease because the need for victory puts combatants in a dangerous head space. They'll often try to achieve victory by any means, causing them to be reckless and make mistakes.

In dating, you see the same sort of desire manifest itself in the form of desperation. The desire for the woman is so strong that it overpowers our normal sense of things. She becomes an object of desire, and stops being seen as a human being.

When this happens, women can SENSE it. Their alarm bells will go off, because they can tell you're not interested in who they really are - you're just looking to use them, be it physically or emotionally.

Thi s is not to say you shouldn't WANT victory, but you must understand that achieving your goals is a process, and you must learn to be patient and give yourself the freedom to retreat if need be. Focus on the journey, not the end result.

DISEASE #2) "The desire to resort to technical cunning."

In the martial arts, relying on technique forces you into a ridgid structure of fighting that becomes predictable to your opponant. Bruce Lee was a firm believer that you needed to customize your fight based on who you were fighting - in other words, you remained flexible, fluid, and able to adapt.

Too often, guys think that using a "pick up line" or doing what they see on TV or the movies will get them a result. They fall into patterns of doing the same things to attract women - ask for the number, dinner and a movie, etc.

What you need to realize is that every girl is different! And you need to customize your approach to the girl you want to be with. This is the only way to achieve success time and time again with women.

DISEASE #3) "The desire to display all that has been learned."

In the martial arts, Bruce Lee believed that you should only do what is required of you to defeat your opponant. Giving yourself the opportunity to showboat gave the enemy openings he could use to harm you. Instead of giving into your ego, you must remained focused on achieving your desired outcome.